Hit it Here Griffey!!!!

It's no secret, I'm a hometown homer fan (hence the name of this blog). So it's understood that I'm extremely pleased to welcome Jr. back to Seattle. But I'm not happy he's back for nostalgic reasons or to see him retire as a Mariner. I think he legitimately can still play this game and he's a significant upgrade at the DH position for the M's.

Let's compare Jr. in 2007 to Jose Vidro in 2007 (the M's DH for the majority of the year). Here's the stat lines:

Griffey (with a torn meniscus):
.249 average, 30 doubles, 18 HR's, 71 RBI, 78 walks, .353 OBP

Vidro (with a sore vag):
.234 average, 11 doubles, 7 HR's, 45 RBI, 18 walks, .274 OBP

On top of Vidro's less-than-impressive stat line is the fact he was paid $8.5 million last season. What a joke!

Now Griffey's contract with the M's carries a base salary of $2 million with incentives (based on plate appearances and attendance) that could push the deal to $5 million. To me, its a no-brainer. And with Griffey's knee at 100% and the opportunity for him to rest his body and play DH, I expect better numbers this year from Jr. Do I expect him to hit .350 with 40 HR's and 120 RBI. Ofcourse not. I think more along the lines of .280 with 25 HR's and 85 RBI.

This Really Happened

This crazy story comes from my neck of the woods, Wenatchee, where two brothers assaulted a Taco Bell employee. According to the Wenatchee World:

"Wenatchee police suspect Guzman and his 21-year-old brother went around the front counter at Taco Bell on North Wenatchee Avenue at 9:30 p.m. Monday and assaulted a 21-year-old male employee in the kitchen area. Witnesses told police that two suspects punched, elbowed and kicked the victim all over his body. The victim told police he knew his assailants."

By time the police arrive the suspects had fled. The victim gave authorities the names, address and vehicle description of the perps. Now this is where it gets good.

"Two hours later, Wenatchee police arrived at an East Wenatchee residence in the 400 block of South Kentucky Avenue, a home belonging to the suspects' parents. The vehicle described by the victim was at the residence. When questioned, the parents told police the car had been at the house all evening, but in the vehicle police found four cheesy double-beef burritos in a Taco Bell bag."

No surprise, one of the suspects was out of jail on work release and, of course, he failed to return to jail by 2:30am as scheduled. Not very savvy criminals in Wenatchee. I think as a sentence they should make them eat four of the cheesy double-beef burritos each. That should be punishment enough. I mean, who hasn't wanted to jump the counter at a fast food restaurant and choke the pimply-faced 18 year old kid screwing up their order? I think about it every day. I'm thinking about it right now. I said no Mayo, damn it!!

He's Got My Vote

The Greatest Beer of All Time

Manny's Pale Ale: A careful selection of Northwest hops, premium barley, and our unique yeast give this ale a rich and complex malty middle with a snappy hop finish. It's truly a micro that finishes crisp, clean, and smooth.

Fuckin right!

I Hate Clay Bennett

Clay Bennett is a real piece of shit.

Here he is pictured with his "boy-toy" David Stern. The City of Seattle vs. the Sonics case just got underway yesteday. And today Mr. Bennett took the stand and sounded like the rich jack-ass that he truely is. From ESPN:

Under questioning from city of Seattle lawyer Paul Lawrence, Bennett said the $65 million the team could lose if forced to honor the remaining two years of its KeyArena lease is significant but "would not significantly alter" his family's lifestyle.

What a pompous prick! $65 million is nothing to this guy. All he wants is the same thing he wanted when he bought the team: To steal the Sonics and take them to OK City. I hope he chokes on some tumbleweed.

I'm Back!!!!!

After more than a year, Seattle Hometown Homers is back with new posts. Fresh out of prison (a job in the mortgage industry), I'm back and ready to spew my anger and frustrations and direct my hate towards all that get in my path. Enjoy!

Golf Team Wedgie Hazing Sends Georgia Student to the Emergency Room

No joke. This really happened. From Fox News:

A 13-year-old Georgia student riding a school bus received a “wedgie” during a school hazing incident so painful that his mother took him to the emergency room.

WJXT-TV reported that the boy, who wished to remain anonymous, is a member of the Charlton County High School junior varsity golf team. He was riding the bus along with varsity members, who held him upside down.

According to WJXT-TV, two older students called the boy to the back of the bus and, in addition to the wedgie, punched the 13-year-old in the groin and stomach — all as a part of an initiation ritual.

"He was bent over and couldn't hardly walk. He cried for probably 30 minutes," Carol said

"It's not funny. It went beyond being a funny little prank," Carol said. "Sometimes people don't know when enough is enough, and I think that's what happened here."

Come on Carol. You have never been a 13 year old boy. Wedgies are a rite of passage for young boys. Sorry to say but your kid is a pussy. Other kids probably got the same treatment and didn't cry for 30 minutes like a little bitch. Your whole family should be punished with ATOMIC wedgies for being related to this guy.

Sergio Didn't Spit...He Just Let it go Down

"I didn't spit. I just let it go down," said Sergio.

Just let what go down? According to Sergio it wasn't spit. I'm no doctor, but it looked alot like spit. And after reviewing the following video, it is apparent that a combination of mucus and saliva were released from his mouth into the cup. Isn't that spit? Here's the video:

Golf is a frustrating sport. I know from experience. And I can't begin to understand how frustrating it is to lose to Tiger Woods all the time. So I've decided to give Sergio a pass on this one.

Personally, I've been so mad that I wanted to do more than spit in the cup. I'm just lucky the only person I have to duck is the course marshall. Sergio had the crowds there and the millions watching on TV. So maybe a bad choice at the time but its a better way to deal with his frustration than flinging a pitching wedge into the gallery.

Vince Young Fixed the Miss USA Contest

OK. I'll admit it. I watched some of the Miss USA contest this last weekend. I'm not proud of it but it happened and I caught this little gem. It was the final question section of the pageant. Miss Tennessee, Rachel Smith, was called to the mic. Her final question was from one of the judges, Tennessee Titan quarterback Vince Young. I noticed Young and Miss Tennessee exchanging looks and a smile. She nailed the question and went on to become the new Miss USA.

Does this sound like a fix at all? Mr. Tennessee Vince Young is one of the judges and Miss Tennessee comes away with the crown? There's definitely a conflict of interest here. My prediction is they will wait a few months and then come out as a couple. I can't say I'd do it any different than Young did. Perhaps I'd fornicate with as many states as possible first, but who's saying he didn't do that too. Lucky fucker.

Sonics Dance Team Profile: Staci

This week's Sonics Dance Team girl is the lovely Staci. I've actually met Staci through a promotion at Pizza Hut. She and another Dance Team member delivered me a pizza one Sunday afternoon. Talk about a big surprise. I just got done taking three giant bong hits when the doorbell rang. When I opened up the door I had no clue what was going on. Two pretty girls wearing Sonics green and Gold were handing me my meatlovers and breadsticks. I ran upstairs and grabbed my camera and the pic is below.

I also know a couple friends at work that know Staci. They tell me that she lives a sort of double-life. I don't want to start any rumors, but again what kind of fake-ass journalist would I be if I didn't. Word on the street is that she loves a little injection of H. A friend of my friend at work actually supplied her with her stuff. Whatever she's taking, it works. She's a firecracker!